Three Monkeys Online

A Curious, Alternative Magazine

The fortune-telling monk vs the scantily clad starlet – A new year calls for a new calendar

We kick off the new year some kilos heavier after a December spent sampling the culinary delights that make Italy such a good place to live. This may account for the scarcity of entries during the final month of 2005 – It’s hard to be quite so opinionated on an over-full stomach.

A brief entry to kick off the year, on the subject, appropriately enough, of calendars.

Towards the end of the year, on every chat show and news programme (news?!?) one is bombarded by breasts, as models, showgirls, and latest ‘reality’ stars parade their wares launching their calendari. This is, after all, the country from whence the Pirelli Calendar came – elegantly bared nipples used to sell
tyres, ingenious…

According to the PR firm of mass medialogue Klaus Davi, this year, though, the most sold calendar was the ‘Frate Indovino‘ (The Fortune telling Monk). A type of calendar that handily mixes superstitions, giving you all the official Roman Catholic feast days alongside lucky days to plant seeds, harvest wines, and days to stay in bed – Friday the 17th for example is particularly unlucky in Italy, they say.

Second place is the ‘Famiglia Cristiana’ (Christian Family) calendar. Third best-selling was the new ‘Carabinieri‘ calendar (Italy’s military police), followed finally by the starlets and their bosoms.

I’m at a loss to say what light this might shed on the country and its allegiances for the coming year. While undoubtedly a lucrative market, the calendari are bought by a minority happily sustaining their own brand of religious orthodoxy, authoritarianism, and cosmetic surgery. Most Italians, I suspect, mark their days off against the numerous free calendars given as gifts by local shops to loyal customers. For example the calendar received by us from the local hardware store, that takes as its underlying theme Italy’s other favourite religion, calcio (football). This monkey will follow the year synchronised with Bologna F.C currently languishing in the bottom half of Serie B but ever hopeful that 2006 will augur well.

Happy New Year!