Three Monkeys Online

A Curious, Alternative Magazine

Henry Grodsk

Numbers

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

Average Polish pay, 1997: 1,000 zł Average Polish pay, 2005: 2,500 zł Mimimum wage: currently about 935 zł (Some organisations define poverty as an income of less than half the national average.)

Keeping a Grip

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

Advertisers are easy enough targets at the best of times: a car manufacturer is trying to persuade gullible Poles that its new car can see around corners. (Cretinous slogan: “C’mon” – in English of course, though it’s a German firm operating in Poland.) But when they supply the ammunition themselves… Here’s the slogan of one […]

In and out

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

In the last two years some 1.2 million people have left Poland. Since May 2004 2.5 million cars have been imported. (Polityka 2007: nr. 7) I don’t know what that signifies. Probably nothing.

Plagiarism? Intertextuality? A Bloody Cheek?

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

On the cover of a new edition of Krzysztof Varga’s Chłopaki nie płaczą is a stern message to, among others, Olaf Lubaszenko, who had the temerity to make a film of the same name but entirely unconnected with Varga’s original work (published 1996). Poor old Varga was tired of explaining to interviewers that the two […]

Szyc Hits Pits

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

I’m sorry. It’s the best I could do and God knows I have been trying. This is the closest I can come to “Sticks nix hicks pix,” the famousest headline ever. Boris Szyc (it’s pronounced “shits”) is an actor. He was in a film, playing a priest, against his co-star’s prostitute. The reviewer didn’t like […]

Kraków

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

There’s a painting I particularly wanted to see so I took myself down to Kraków to have a look, spending a few days in the old place. I picked up a copy of the local paper and was dismayed to find that the good people of the newspaper are obssessed with Wrocław. How much money […]

I’ve got principles coming out of my ears

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

Marcin Wojciechowski of Gazeta Wyborcza (Feb 13th) takes the unfortunate minister for agriculture, Andrzej Lepper, to task for questioning the wisdom of locating an anti-missile shield in Poland. “In matters of state as important as the missile shield only the competent members of government should speak out, not the minister for agriculture, and never outside […]

We had to destroy the hospitals to save them

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

As mentioned previously, hospitals here in Poland are being overrun by bailiffs as the government agrees to bail out only a few of them. One of the reasons being offered for this disastrous turn of events is that there are too many hospitals. There may well be something in this but I would find it […]

Health Care Bingo

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

The Polish health service is in a jock. Several hospitals in the ?l?sk region have had the pleasure of forming a close acquaintance with the bailiffs and it’s back in time to the Victorian era of Do-gooding as a whip around is organised to keep taxpayer-funded hospitals afloat. If this were happening in a socialist […]

Eccentricity

Sunday, January 28th, 2007

In the eighteenth century to be an eccentric you had to worship Satan, gamble, go hot air ballooning, accidentally kill someone, marry a close relative, flee from creditors, be addicted to opium, write and privately publish a pornographic novel, discover one of the elements and have a star, a species of plant or a national […]