Three Monkeys Online

A Curious, Alternative Magazine

My Pension

The government assigned me to a pension fund (the one that was stung by Bernie Madoff) run by one of the big banks here. In their very first letter to me, an unwilling and forced customer, the managers of my money write: “In the attached prospectus you will find the conditions of your membership.” Oh good. Perhaps if I break their rules they’ll kick me out. From the prospectus I find that I am now an investor in several banks, a television station, a newspaper, a stockbroking firm, a developer and God knows what kind of other shady businesses. Mostly, though, I am an investor in government bonds. So to recap: the state takes money off me and (via an expensive and privately owned firm) lends that money to itself to be repaid to me with interest at some later date. That interest comes from the taxes paid by me. The state could just take the money off me in the form of pension contributions and pay it back to me later but that would cut out the middleman.

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