I came across an ad in a current affairs magazine today. Here it goes: “Most women put quality first! 100% fewer hot flushes, 94% less excessive sweating, 98% less sleeplessness. [brandname]. Active extract SE 2000. Choose [brandname] medicine whose [sic] effectiveness and safety have been confirmed by scientific research!”

Phew, I thought. Those other medicines that had the side effects of excessive sweating, hot flushes and sleeplessness must have been awful. I wonder what it is that they (and [brandname]) cure?

I know what you’re thinking: of course those aren’t the side effects: they’re the symptoms (of menopause) that the medicine treats. But I cheated: I didn’t tell you that the ad features a big picture of a woman aged about 28. Threw me right off the menopausal track. I was under the impression women stopped having periods in their 40s and, more usually, 50s.

And how about that SE2000, eh?