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I blame Bia?oszewski. For the short sentences. In fact, fragmentary. Sentences, that is. Very annoying. He wrote a book once. Famous.
Pami?tnik z powstania warszawskiego.
It was called.
Miron Bia?oszewski wrote short, abrupt sentences in a sometimes successful attempt to capture and reflect the urgency and chaos of Warsaw during the uprising. Polish lends itself to this style, having many impersonal, one word constructions like “ciemno” (it is dark), or “cicho” (it is quiet). The novel is very highly thought of in Poland, as is witnessed by the numerous imitations of his style (see Marcinkiewicz’s blog), but it’s a long way from the high drama of the Warsaw uprising to the rather less exciting world Warsaw’s rising housing costs and short sentences just don’t cut it. Here is Magdalena Szwarc in today’s colour supplement to Gazeta Wyborcza writing about the apparently newly-discovered phenomenon of borrowing money to buy one’s home:

Heatwave. Marta looks into the cupboard. She could do with buying some tee-shirts. Not much of an expense, you’d think, but six or eight comes to a lot. She’ll wait till next month.
It pains her a bit.
…
The foreman shows them up to the fifth floor. Dust. The damp smell of concrete. It’s quiet because it’s Saturday. No one is working.
Ania has been nauseous all morning. She is pregnant.
They walk through the kitchen of their future neighbours at number 15 and through number 20’s living room. It’s dark. There are no windows.
…
From the third floor up the flats are cheaper
There will be a lift.
They go to see.

For more of the delightful and pleasant style of giving each sentence a paragraph all of its own, see the BBC news website.

Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz used to be the (quite popular) prime minister of Poland. For reasons not entirely clear to me (”wasn’t in that day, sir”), he stepped aside so that the president’s twin brother could take over. He is now the president of Warsaw, according to his blog. (I was under the impression that he was the acting president, but he should know who he is.)

He has a blog, source of much merriment but also suspicions among doubting Thomas types that it is written by PR people. Well, it does have a lot of short sentences. Punchy. Occasionally coherent. Yes.

It’s normal and natural. I’m not deceiving anyone. I’m saying the same thing only in different words.

On the other hand, it does have some of the K-man’s trademark phrases, like “I am convinced…” (that I can do it) and “I am certain…” (that we can achieve it). The author also throws in the occasional bit of Marcinkiewiczian English, writing “I’m 47. Can I dance? Yes, I can, I need, I love.”

It’s the cucumber season here so I will indulge myself by mocking a misprint. Unfair, I know. Dangerous, too, since my own spell checker long since gave up the ghost and was never able to deal with Polish anyway but here goes:

Miłość rozwija świat. Jakim byłby świat bez miłości? Nie, nie będę nawet o tym myślał. Świata bez miłości by nie było. I jak jaj zabraknie, będzie jego koniec.

Love develops the world. What would the world be like without love? No, I won’t even think about it. There could be no world without love. And if there are no balls, it’s all over.

“Jaj” (balls, cojones) should be “jej” (it, referring to love)….

There’s an anti-blog here (in Polish).

More words of wisdom from Marcinkiewicz here (though I have to take the translation on trust, not knowing the original).

Things are all a kerfuffle in Polish politics at the moment. The president backed out of an international summit a few days ago because he had a pain in his stomach. Before that a German newspaper made some unpleasant jokes about him and Poland. Then every former Polish foreign minister wrote an open letter condemning the president for backing out of the summit - blah blah blah, the usual farce. Poor old Gazeta Wyborcza devoted several serious pages to the affair this Friday and then — if Beatroot is to be believed (and of course he is) — the prime minister goes and resigns, making, I can’t help think, the GW’s thundering look like a lot of hot air. Beatroot brings up the subject of media management in his post (the news breaks late on Friday evening - the government seems taken unawares) and it is tempting to picture newspaper editors cursing Marcinkiewicz for letting the teevee get the jump on them, for keeping their staff awake all night, for making them re-set the front page. So well done Marcinkiewicz.

I wonder how the stock market has reacted to this. Actually, that’s a total lie but I guess the papers, in the absence of any information, will pad out their speculation with worrisome articles about what is happening to the share portfolios of people who own shares. Presumably share prices will wobble and someone who was in the know will make a few quid on it before it goes back to normal — oblivious as all sentient beings should be to who gets to be called prime minister.

Some random absurdities, all from just one issue of Gazeta Wyborcza.

The Belarussian KGB has branded the Lukaszenko opposition terrorists. The newspaper is up in arms. Only GW Bush (if you’re not with us you’re against us) is allowed brand the opposition “terrorist”.

Marek Zuber, adviser to Polish Prime Minister Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz, has admitted in the Financial Times that he does not understand what Marcinkiewicz’s party is doing.

In the run-up to a day of anti-war protests, Viceminister for Education Jarosław Zielinski wrote a letter to school superintendants warning them to be on their guard against ecologists and pacifists, who might have a bad influence on school children. Green and anti-war organisations might be being manipulated by sinister forces. What sinsister forces - alas - he cannot say, as it is confidential. “Please treat me and my letter seriously”, he adds pathetically. This interference tactic is well-known in internet circles, where it is widely believed that the helpful anonymous poster who says that certain elements have hi-jacked the forthcoming anti-racism/anti-war/anti-bin tax demonstration is usually a policeman trying to scare off popular support.

Here’s an interesting one: no less than 7 state organs are permitted to tap telephones in Poland. An eighth one is in the pipeline.

Incredibly, a white-collar criminal has been sentenced to fourteen years in jail. Among his victims was a Brazilian footballer called Romario. It is not known if the judge was a soccer fan.

A television station has been fined by the National Commission for Being a Good Little Boy because a guest on a programme imitated the voice of a young woman who broadcasts on a radio station. The young woman, you see, is physically handicapped. Also - and entirely unconnected to the matter - she broadcasts on the ultra-conservative, Catholic and pro-government Radio Maryja.

Moving on, there is a full-page ad (one of many in your eco-friendly GW) for a car. At the top of the page the price is proudly trumpeted: “from 17,345 zloties”. There is an asterix beside the price. Probably the ex-works price, you think, before checking the small print at the bottom of the page to be sure. Alas, no. The small print reads: “the figure given is 50% of the promotional price…” I am not making this up.

On the bottom of page 13 is a short paragraph describing what is claimed to be the largest American air operation since the start of the “armed intervention” (or “invasion”) in Iraq. Lest the prominence given to this event lead you astray let me remind you: Poland is one of the occupying powers in Iraq.

More advertising: a joke that got old fast. An airline is selling flights from Krakow to Oslo for from 145 zloties (one-way, excluding taxes and fees). I went to their website and checked prices. You will have to wait until mid-July before you can avail of the 145 zloty fare and the final price is 185 zloties.