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Newspaper editors everywhere are gnashing their teeth to find that two politicians have been put in charge of being called president and minister (or special envoy or whatever) for foreign affairs of the EU. This Herman Van Rompuy and Catherine Ashton – can they even be googled? What’s to cut and paste here? Has either of them started a war? It’s most inconsiderate of whoever makes these decisions to choose two unknowns. Journalists will now have to do some research and write about EU policies – until such time, of course, that they have dug up some dirt on Herman Von Rumpy-pumpy and “Iron” (inevitably) Kate.

The Lisbon Treaty vote is coming soon to Ireland, again. To re-cap: France and Holland rejected a planned European constitution so it was repackaged as a more innoccuous sounding treaty, which the Irish then rejected. Three strikes and you’re not out at all at all: the Lisbon treaty is to be voted on again by the Irish in a few days. Back in 2006, after one of the defeats, I mentioned an article in Gazeta Wyborcza by a Judit Kiss in which she blamed – essentially – public relations for the outcome. This time around no chances are being taken: in the Irish debate public relations are already being blamed. Here is an excerpt from a letter by Donncha O’Connell to the Irish Times of September 29^th:

Madam, – The contrast between the punchy slogans of Gerry Adams and the compelling logic of Noel Dorr (both in Opinion, September 28th) speaks volumes. In rhetorical terms, it is simply easier to undermine the case for the Lisbon Treaty than to defend it beyond reasonable doubt.

Isn’t it just so unfair! Mr O’Connell is only one of many, many commentators bemoaning how easy it is to agitate for a no vote and how awful it is that the yes campaigners have to spend so much time and effort refuting their opponents’ arguments. He is right, of course. The supporters of the constitution should not have to waste time persuading people to vote for it.

If we are to believe today’s super serious and responsible Dziennik the European Union is soon to forbid drinking at night. That’s what the headline on page one says anyway but if you read on it turns out that you will be allowed to drink at night. It’s just they plan to make it harder to buy, advertise and distribute alcohol. That would make for a dull headline, though, so “Unia nie pozwoli pi? noc?” it was. The merriment continues on page 12, with a photograph of some yoof at a rock concert. In the foreground, leaning over a barrier, are six young people holding seven plastic glasses full of beer. From what I remember of open air rock festivals, the chances of all six of your mates having a full glass of beer at the same time are minimal. It’s not like buying a round of drinks in a pub. From what I remember, you understand. The caption underneath the picture boldly draws the obvious conclusion from the alcoholic profusion: “Young people at last year’s rock festival in Jarocin were unable to listen to the music without alcohol.” Quick, quick: someone inform an aural doctor.

If Dziennik wants to be taken seriously as a rival to Gazeta Wyborcza they’ll really have to do something about their self-righteous tabloidian headlines. “Immigrants flood Malta,” says one. The subhead reads “Residents of the Mediterranean Island do not want arrivals from Africa as neighbours and are appealing for help to the EU.” I don’t know how racist Maltans are but there’s a good chance that what many of them object to is not African neighbours per se but huge numbers of immigrants. Scant evidence (the presence of racist graffiti does not prove all Maltans are racists) is presented in the article that this is not the case.

Another scare headline on page 18: “We are Paying for the National Debt.” Well, who else would pay for it? Page 23: “E-book Market Revives.” In fact, this article is about a new product launched by an electronics company. No evidence is presented to show that people are, in fact, reviving their interest in reading print off a small screen for hours at a time. Lastly on page 24, there is an unintentionally (?) ironic headline: “Has Politics Bored Poles?” It is followed by four full pages of politics.