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Leszek Balcerowicz, Polish economic guru, is nothing if not dependable. No matter what the question, the answer is always to liberalise, deregulate etc. etc. I was reminded of him by today’s piece in the Irish Times by Frances Ruane of the Economic and Social Research Institute (ESRI). The subhead says it all. No really: all. “An international upturn will not translate into a recovery here unless Ireland cuts costs.” It’s funny how I’ve been hearing this since the 1980s - through slump, boom, slump, boom, slump the medicine is always the same no matter what the patient’s condition. Cuts.

The ESRI’s record for accuracy.

Three years ago I wrote briefly about high-flying academics working in Ireland who were being given extemely generous salaries in order to prevent them from emigrating from badly depressed, going-nowhere Ireland (funny no one thought of doing that in the 80s for ordinary workers). Today those bonuses are being savagely cut back, at least in University College Dublin, where the vice-president for research will now have to scrape by on just €320,000 a year. Bad news too for usual suspect Brigid Laffan, who will have to forgo €25,000 a year (all according to today’s Irish Times).

Poland is no stranger to calls for higher pay for profs. Indeed, scarcely a day goes by without genuine, heart felt, grass roots demands for US salaries for Polish lecturers.

A delve into the archives has turned up the following job advertisement in a US periodical from 50 years ago. It says more about “human capital” and the real reasons behind encouraging people to invest in themselves than many a learned disquisition.

“How a ‘crazy rumour’ got me promoted!

What I overheard one morning shook me right out of a rut! ‘Company’s getting ready to cut back … bound to be layoffs,’ I heard them say. ‘Just another crazy rumour,’ I told myself. Just the same, I took quick stock of myself that night. [...] I wasn’t in trouble But I sure wasn’t ‘in solid’ like I should be. That’s when I made up my mind to enroll for training with I.C.S. [...] That was a year ago. There have been two layoffs since then. While some of the others were just hanging on or being released, I was moving up. [...] Don’t wait for a ‘crazy rumour’ to set you straight. Take out your ‘job insurance’ right now. [...]”

But why pay “job insurance” to ICS or whoever? Why not pay it directly to your employer, who could use a portion of it to train you to do the job for which you were employed. He could deduct the “job insurance” straight from your pay cheque and call it a pay cut.

Amazingly, Jordan and Peter Andre are still news in Britain and Ireland! The celebrity pond in Poland is pathetically small but it comes as a surprise to find the UK’s is no bigger.