Three Monkeys Online

A Curious, Alternative Magazine

Henry Grodsk

Protesting Police Officers Blasted by Sonic Cannon

Friday, September 25th, 2009

US members of the public spark outrage by using wartime acoustic weapon to disperse protesting policemen in Pittsburgh. Only a few hundred blue-uniformed protesters took to the streets of Pittsburgh to protest budget cuts that would affect their livelihoods, but the public was taking no chances. Sonic weapons or long-range acoustic devices have been used […]

The School of Hard Knocks

Thursday, September 24th, 2009

I hold in my hand a circular concerning the Poland-wide “English Olympics,” a competition they hold every year to reward exceptionally good schoolchildren. As far as I know, these Olympics are held in all subjects, not just English. It’s not a terribly exciting document. It gives the closing dates for various stages – school, regional […]

That Missile Shield

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

On this day, the anniversary of the Soviet Union’s invasion of Poland, Poles awoke to learn that the USA has decided not to go ahead with the missile shield. The country is in a state of chassis, as Russian rockets start to rain down on the larger cities. I shudder to think what would happen […]

Smoking

Sunday, September 6th, 2009

Some years ago the EU prevented tobbacco advertisers from claiming their cigarettes were “mild” or “low tar” but now it turns out that people are so stupid they even think fags in a light coloured pack are easier on the lungs than fags in a dark pack. You just can’t legislate away stupidity but I […]

Standards

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

I came across this in an e-mail circular that circulated so much it’s hard to tell exactly who wrote it. It seems to be from either the Dean of Graduate Studies or the School of Languages, Literatures and Cultural Studies in Trinity College Dublin, the oldest university in the known universe: “… all guidelines are […]

Conventional Wisdom

Friday, September 4th, 2009

In Poland and Ireland the demographic timebomb is ticking away. There are ever fewer workers to support ever greater numbers of burdensome old folk. Amazingly, Ireland has found a dual solution: mass redundancies and more procreation: Irish Times: Birth Rate Highest for 110 Years Central Statistics Office: Irish Unemployment Rate Reaches 12.2% Another oddity is […]

An Irish Balcerowicz

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Leszek Balcerowicz, Polish economic guru, is nothing if not dependable. No matter what the question, the answer is always to liberalise, deregulate etc. etc. I was reminded of him by today’s piece in the Irish Times by Frances Ruane of the Economic and Social Research Institute (ESRI). The subhead says it all. No really: all. […]

Follow Up

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Three years ago I wrote briefly about high-flying academics working in Ireland who were being given extemely generous salaries in order to prevent them from emigrating from badly depressed, going-nowhere Ireland (funny no one thought of doing that in the 80s for ordinary workers). Today those bonuses are being savagely cut back, at least in […]

Investing in Yourself (II)

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

A delve into the archives has turned up the following job advertisement in a US periodical from 50 years ago. It says more about “human capital” and the real reasons behind encouraging people to invest in themselves than many a learned disquisition. “How a ‘crazy rumour’ got me promoted! What I overheard one morning shook […]

What’s News (II)

Monday, August 17th, 2009

Amazingly, Jordan and Peter Andre are still news in Britain and Ireland! The celebrity pond in Poland is pathetically small but it comes as a surprise to find the UK’s is no bigger.